Welcome to 06. Now stay away from my pie!

All:

Recently I was reminded of a story my Uncle Earl used to spin. Often near a campfire, but always with a creepy flashlight below his face. You see, Earl was manic depressive, and was all too often off the meds. And when he journeyed too far from his chemically-induced world of safety and diminished personality, he could go "funny". And I don't me "ha-ha" funny. I mean "find him on the porch with a 20-year-old National Geographic in one hand, a shotgun in the other, and wearing nothing but a goofy smile" kind of funny.

Anyways, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Pie.

Good rule of thumb, break-room users. Never, EVER leave pie in the fridge. Especially home-made, succulent pie like the kind I had just two short days ago. The kind of pie that makes it all make sense. The kind of pie that almost makes Kenny over in accounts receivable tolerable. The kind of pie that transcends food and moves straight on to Americana.

And then it was gone.

I didn't eat it.

Somebody (or someTHING) else did.

And so I say again: Keep your hands off my pie.

Update:

Soon, you'll be able to download your BlackStuart (copyright pending!) RingTones right here. You asked for 'em, you got 'em, America.