The Guy at the Gas Station

First, allow me to apologize for being gone so long. The Merchant Marines isn't a life for everyone. And as it turns out, it wasn't for me, either. Turns out, mostly it's just sailing around (though I'm still waiting to see the "sails"; it's really just a big, smelly engine, kids, no matter what the brochure says).

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. The gas station.

So anyway, I pull up, cuz the sign says $3.42, but not just that...but "ALL TAXES INCLUDED". Well, as many of my loyal readers know all too well, Uncle Stu had a misunderstanding with the IRS awhile back, and it seems I'm in arrears to the tune of $38,493.40 (plus daily compiled interest. Anybody got a calculator?).

So seeing that sign got me thinking: I buy at least a fill-up, and I win three ways:

1. Full tank of gas

2. 50% off the chalupa/dog combo meal

3. No tax bill to the tune of $38,523.74 (I found my calculator as I've typed this)

Luckily, I had all my paperwork in the car (along with most of my valuables, including my priceless Merle Haggard-autographed chaps and my "Best of Adrian Zmed" EP). I presented this to the man(?) behind the counter, and smiled a winner's smile.

Long story short, it was all a big misunderstanding. The bad news is, loitering can be enough to tip the scales of Lady Justice on you, if it's your ninth offense (or, I assume, higher).

But the chalupa/dog combo deal was still in play.....so Ol' Stu is smilin'.